Joe told me on Saturday the oncologist's office had called on Friday to confirm an appt for today. I had made an appt, but had changed it due to the surgery. I called this morning to see what was up. At first it was just a mix-up on time--they had moved the appointment and forgot to cancel the first one.
But then the office called back and the oncologist wants to see me sooner "to keep a closer eye on me". I have no idea what that means and called twice to ask that my oncologist call me back. My mind is going to all the worst-case scenarios. I'm crying and I'm scared and I feel betrayed by my body and by my oncologist for not calling me back.
I just want to be healthy again. I just want to be healed. I want to be here for my husband and my kids. I'm just so scared and I've spent the last couple of hours sobbing.
Please pray. Please, please pray.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig
I arrived home yesterday (Sunday) afternoon. It was a low-key homecoming because I needed a nap soon afterwards. I had felt great on Saturday morning and took a sponge bath, but the exertion made me tank for the rest of that day. Note to self: save that energy so you don't spend the rest of the day sleeping.
Joe is home today because the surgeon wanted me to have someone around today so I wasn't alone with just Entropy Boy.
I got two of my six drains removed on Saturday morning, so now I only have four to deal with. They are still a pain and I am looking forward to them being removed (I'm praying that it will happen this week). Two are very low on my hips, so I'm alternating between the two pairs of low-slung sweatpants that I own.
I'm moving around as well as someone who is 40 weeks pregnant. My back hurts like it too. Because I have to be careful of my stomach incision, I've been using my back to compensate and I can feel the strain on my muscles. To reach something on the floor, I have to do lunges with my legs, keeping my back straight and reaching with my hands to the floor. I'm going to have some really strong thigh muscles when this is over.
My pain medicine has kicked in and it is time for another nap.
Joe is home today because the surgeon wanted me to have someone around today so I wasn't alone with just Entropy Boy.
I got two of my six drains removed on Saturday morning, so now I only have four to deal with. They are still a pain and I am looking forward to them being removed (I'm praying that it will happen this week). Two are very low on my hips, so I'm alternating between the two pairs of low-slung sweatpants that I own.
I'm moving around as well as someone who is 40 weeks pregnant. My back hurts like it too. Because I have to be careful of my stomach incision, I've been using my back to compensate and I can feel the strain on my muscles. To reach something on the floor, I have to do lunges with my legs, keeping my back straight and reaching with my hands to the floor. I'm going to have some really strong thigh muscles when this is over.
My pain medicine has kicked in and it is time for another nap.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I'm out of SICU and in a regular room
They will take me off the pain pump later today. I'm sad about that. I love my pain pump. I"m still on a liquid diet until later this evening, but I'm not really interested in eating anyway.
My arms work well this time around, but twisting is completely out of the question. My stomach muscles are going to be really sore for the next 2 weeks. Recovery won't be linear--it will be steps forward and then backward again.
If this is disjointed, it's because I"m well drugged right now.
My arms work well this time around, but twisting is completely out of the question. My stomach muscles are going to be really sore for the next 2 weeks. Recovery won't be linear--it will be steps forward and then backward again.
If this is disjointed, it's because I"m well drugged right now.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
9:45 Still Waiting
About an hour and a half ago a nurse told me that the surgeons were closing, so hopefully everything will be done soon. But no news yet. It's just me and one other family in the waiting room now. I talked to LH and the boys are in bed. I'm glad they're able to sleep, I'm sure it's been a hard day for them.
Three More hours
The nurse just called. The micro-surgery is now complete and they're now beginning to close her up. Everthing should be done in another three hours. Ugh. I guess the "three hours" last time we talked meant three hours of micro-surgery.
4:00 p.m. Still Waiting
I heard from the nurse at 2:00 and she said there were about 3 hours to go. If so, that would mean things should be wrapping up around 5:00. After that there will be time in the recovery room before Sandy is moved to ICU. We arrived at 6:00 a.m. and she entered surgery at 7:30. Since then I've seen the waiting room turn over once, although there are a couple of families that have been here as long as I have been.
It looks like we're in the home stretch now.
It looks like we're in the home stretch now.
Reconstruction Day - Lunchtime
About 5 hours done and about 7 to go. The waiting room is the most crowded I've ever seen it. There were nearly 30 people here at one point. The TV has remained at a low level and everyone is pretty respectful of everyone else around them. Most people are reading or working on their computers. The woman with the skein left about an hour ago--she crocheted a few squares of something, but I never thought to ask her what she was making.
Reconstruction Day - Early Morning
It's going to be a long day. We were up at 4:30 this morning and dropped the boys off with a friend at 5:30 (Bless you, Lisa!). Spiff has his last day of school before Thanksgiving vacation and Entropy Boy will probably be playing games all day.
We arrived at the hospital about 6:00 and went through the standard preadmission screening. After that, we met with the anesthesia intern, who goes to our church, and then the plastic surgeon. They took her back into surgery at about 7:30 and I was told to expect the whole process to take about 12 hours.
I'm up in the waiting room now and it is full. The TV is relatively quiet (God does answer prayer...) and most people are reading or working on computers. THe woman across from me pulled out a huge skein of yarn, the size of a basketball, and is carefully winding it into a tight ball. I wonder how far she'll get today.
We arrived at the hospital about 6:00 and went through the standard preadmission screening. After that, we met with the anesthesia intern, who goes to our church, and then the plastic surgeon. They took her back into surgery at about 7:30 and I was told to expect the whole process to take about 12 hours.
I'm up in the waiting room now and it is full. The TV is relatively quiet (God does answer prayer...) and most people are reading or working on computers. THe woman across from me pulled out a huge skein of yarn, the size of a basketball, and is carefully winding it into a tight ball. I wonder how far she'll get today.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Months Later--I'm Back
Well, tomorrow is the big day for my reconstruction surgery. I'm having DIEP flap reconstruction surgery. Basically, they take my belly fat and my extra skin from having two large babies and make me new boobs with it. They snake a blood supply up each side to sustain their work as well.
So, I get a new rack and a tummy tuck. I'd be more excited, but I'm kind of nervous. Plus, I had to be on a liquid diet today, so I'm a tad cranky. Not much other than tomato soup and jello will do that to a girl.
Joe will keep everyone updated here on the blog as to my progress. I should be in surgery for about 6 hours (at least) and then in ICU overnight. Wednesday I should be moved to a regular room until I am released, hopefully on Friday or Saturday.
A great big thank you to everyone who is taking care of my kids, providing meals, and generally supporting Joe and I this week and the weeks to come. You all are a huge blessing and we appreciate you so much.
So, I get a new rack and a tummy tuck. I'd be more excited, but I'm kind of nervous. Plus, I had to be on a liquid diet today, so I'm a tad cranky. Not much other than tomato soup and jello will do that to a girl.
Joe will keep everyone updated here on the blog as to my progress. I should be in surgery for about 6 hours (at least) and then in ICU overnight. Wednesday I should be moved to a regular room until I am released, hopefully on Friday or Saturday.
A great big thank you to everyone who is taking care of my kids, providing meals, and generally supporting Joe and I this week and the weeks to come. You all are a huge blessing and we appreciate you so much.
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