Knitters--Check Out This Blog Giveaway!

My e-maginary friend Lona raises sheep, knits and spins, and has an etsy.com shop. She is giving away a knitting kit on her blog--click on Farming in the shade: Bloggy Giveaway! to enter!

Be sure to stop by and read her blog as well--she has the coolest sock knitting machine!!!

Camping in the Back Yard

I am declaring this the beginning of Operation Create Family Memories. Last night we camped out in the back yard, and tonight the boys and I are sleeping in the tent once again. Joe prefers to sleep in his own bed tonight. Hank the Cowcat will be happy for the company. I'm sure he freaked out last night because all his people were outside with out him.


My brother S and his wife K sent us a package that arrived in the mail today--hotdog/marshmallow roasting sticks! Thanks S&K! We put them to good use already tonight and roasted some marshmallows. Last night we cheated and ate mini smores cookies from Honey Maid--they're all the taste without all the work!

Can we please just roast marshmallows now?

As you can see, we are indeed crammed into the back yard with the tent and the outdoor fireplace. This is the way memories are made, folks.

What are you planning to do this summer?

Where Does He Get This Stuff?

Spiff is in the back yard with Entropy Boy. They are always in their own little world back there and forget that the whole neighborhood can hear them and can look out their back windows and see them.

Spiff is back there doing accents. First we get "Mama mia!" and an Italian-American accent. Ok, he could be getting that from relatives, but I don't think so.

Then he switches over to Norwegian-accented English. I grew up hearing it, but he hasn't heard it much at all. He's got the accent and the sing-song sound down.

Then he breaks into a made-up rap, complete with percussion sounds. I have no idea where that one came from.

This is the same kid who, at the age of 6, declared in the backyard "I feel a song coming on" and started belting out a show tune.

The same kid who says he is waaaaay too shy to join the drama club.

Monsters vs. Aliens 3-D

Today's guest blogger is Spiff, here to tell you about the movie he and I went to see today:

...OK OK. I'm here. So what do I talk about? Oh. yeah. The movie. Its hard to explain. If this is not descriptive enough, try to see it yourself. So a summary is: A girl gets hit by a meteorite on her wedding day, she starts glowing, LITERALLY GLOWING, and turns into a monster (still as her conscious self) and with her 'monster' buddies fights an alien. End of movie.

I'm Tired of Having Cancer

I've done the surgery. I've completed chemotherapy. I've completed radiation therapy. My hair is growing back--I even had to shave my legs last week.

At what point do I not "have cancer" any more? At what point do I cease to wonder and worry? My oncologist didn't really have any set answers for me today. We are treating a microscopic disease that we didn't even know was there until I found a lump. I have an Rx for tamoxifen and will start taking that as soon as the prescription is filled (we are doing it mail order). I will be on some drug or other for years. I could still have cancer cells swimming around in my body, and hopefully the drugs will keep them from starting to collect and grow anywhere.

The cancer could come back, or it could not. We just have to watch and wait. Some days that just makes me want to scream.

I don't get my life back--not the way it was before. I never get to be complacent about it again. That. just. stinks.

Could you pray for some peace for me? I'm struggling today. Thanks.

Still Peeling

Not that you really wanted to know or anything. The pain has mostly gone because my skin has started to crack and peel so much that it is no longer feeling "too small" for me.

Think of your worst sunburn ever. Then think of getting it about 5 days in a row and what your skin would do afterward. Yeah. It's like that.

Gross.

Only Two of Us will Be in Church Easter Sunday

Spiff and I will go to Easter Sunday services tomorrow while Joe stays home with Entropy Boy. Why? Because Entropy Boy, who just finished up amoxicillin on Thursday for strep and scarlet fever, woke us up late Friday night with a barking cough. We spent some time in the bathroom letting him breathe in shower steam, gave him a few puffs on his inhaler, and put him back in bed with the steamer.

I took him to the doctor (thank you Ped. Healthcare for having weekend office hours!) and he has croup and strep (again!). He's on azithromycin for the strep and has steroids I need to give him tonight before bed for the croup. He's not allowed at church because he won't have been on the abx for 24 hours by the time services start.

I am so glad the boys have spring break after Easter. Entropy Boy's classroom will have the chance to air out and let those germies die for a week.

Radiation Therapy is Finished

I'm done! I'm done! Praise God, I'm done!

To the tune of "Peace Like a River"

I've got skin like a lizard,
I've got skin like a lizard,
I've got skin like a lizard,
Under my aaaaaaarm!


Yes, I am peeling and it's pretty ugly. It may get worse in the next 7-10 days before it gets better. But in 2-4 weeks I should start feeling like myself again.

Meanwhile, I got tons of hugs from the Hunter Radiation Therapy people and a graduation certificate because today was my last day. I don't see the radiation oncologist again for a *year*.

Joe came home early from work and picked up the boys from school. They stopped off and got me flowers.

We all went out to eat at Kobis, the Japanese steak house in town. Believe me, it was a hard sell to get the boys excited to go. I finally pulled up the website for Spiff and the video of the hibachi chef convinced him it might be tolerable. When we got there, we had to walk on a little bridge over a koi pond. There was a Japanese drum on a carved stump. There were bonsai. They started thinking this might be ok.

When the soup course came, Spiff fell in love with it. Fried onion soup--who knew? Meanwhile, Entropy Boy was having fun slurping off the Chinese soup spoon. Then the chef rolled up with his cart and the show began. I won't give you a blow-by-blow, but let's just say the boys have a new favorite restaurant.

Now we're back home (it is a school night, after all) and Entropy Boy is upstairs in the tub, dreaming of koi.

I Have Frozen Veggies in My Armpit

And they are there at my doctor's suggestion.

My skin under my arm has been getting redder and redder. It is so tight that it hurts to raise my arm. It has been keeping awake at night because every time I roll over the pain wakes me up. This morning a portion of the skin started to peel.

So today was my doctor-visit day and she suggested a bag of cold peas under my arm to bring down swelling. The nurse gave me supplies to do saline soaks 3 times a day before I use the cream or Aquaphor. Of course, I didn't do any of it today because I took a 2 1/2 hour nap after picking up Spiff. Entropy Boy was already home with scarlet fever.

So now I'm sitting with frozen veggies in my armpit while pasta cooks on the stove. The boys are learning opera via Bugs Bunny. Eh. Stranger things have happened.

Knitting and the Eternal Optimist

I always think it will be different this time, but it never is.

SW gave me some amazing hand spun silk/cotton/wool blend yarn. Like most hand spun yarn, it was in a great big loopy hank that showed off the colors nicely. The problem with those great big loopy hanks is that they tangle the first time you look at them. In my head, I know for a fact that they tangle. But my heart and my fingers are usually itching to get started on a project, and so I dive in, believing that *this* time it will be different. *This* time it won't tangle, so there is no need for me to wind it into a nice neat pull-from-the center ball.

Uh-huh. Right.

On row 20 of my project, I had to give up and find the opposite end of the hank. I spent two hours untangling the mess and winding that opposite end into a ball. The cat, who was watching patiently and hoping for an opportunity to pounce, eventually gave up and took a nap on top of my knitting pattern. He opened one eye to check my progress each time I muttered under my breath.

I'm nearly finished with the tangle. The rest can wait until the morning. Hopefully the cat won't decide to "help" while I'm asleep.

I Want To Be A Kid Again

I just finished registering Spiff for summer day camp at the Yale Peabody Museum. Last year he learned what museum curators do and got to go behind the scenes at the museum. He learned how the displays are made and how to make a cast of a log and paint it to look real. He had a BLAST.

This year he will be participating in Bones & Stones: Anthropology Camp

If you have always been interested in ancient cultures and archaeology, this camp is for you!




Each day of this 5-day program will be devoted to different topics, including archaeology, cultural anthropology, forensic anthropology, Egyptology and art history. Behind-the-scenes tours of the Yale Peabody Museum’s collections, local field trips including a real archaeological dig, and lots of exciting hands-on activities are planned.

Doesn't that look fun?

A Praise and A Quick Prayer Request

I am now 1/2 done with radiation!

So far, my skin only looks like I got a bit too much sun. Please pray for healthy skin for the remaining half of radiation. If it starts to break down into open sores I will have to do saline soaks and a whole bunch of other not as fun things. So please pray the cream I use 3x daily does it's job and that my skin stays healthy!

Overall, I'm tolerating it well except for fatigue. The fatigue, combined with my trying to wean off Lexapro, is stepping up my migraines to 1-2 a week. My migraine meds are doing well to keep them under reasonable control once they start, but they are a mighty disruption to life when they occur. The Lexapro was helpful during chemo (the chemo drug Taxol, along with the general stress of cancer, can cause depression) but now I am ready to feel ups and downs again. The Lexapro has made things too flat lately.

And Now for Something Completely Different. . .

Extreme Sheep LED Art

I'm Glad I Checked the Calendar!

I'm getting a massage today! I would have forgotten if I hadn't checked the calendar.

Last week, while I was waiting for my turn at radiation therapy, a woman plunked herself down next to me and said "You're a patient, aren't you?" (Gee, do you think the scarf tied around my head gave it away?) She was signing radiation patients up for Complementary Massage. She had the most wonderful accent--German perhaps? Anyway, my appointment is for noon today.

Joe has been in Maryland, and I had a horrible migraine yesterday morning. I had to call the mom of one of Spiff's schoolmates to come pick up the boys to take them to school. She works at the school and they only live a few blocks away, but it was a hard morning for all of us. We were all in bed by 8 pm last night.

I am so looking forward to that massage today!

I Don't Have Attention--Oh Look! A Butterfly!

I haven't blogged for a while. I've thought about it, but by the time I got over to the computer I got distracted and did something else. That is the story of my days recently. I am so very easily distracted.

Chemo left nothing but Swiss cheese in my short term memory storage. Instead of things being written in stone in my brain, they are written on post-it notes. Every time a breeze blows the little notes flutter away. Look! Aren't they pretty?

On the bright side, my word recall has come back. So, if I could remember what I wanted to talk to you about, I could actually use the correct words to do it.

Let's see. . . to update, the tingling in my fingers is gone completely and 95% gone in my toes. My hair has grown back to the point that it now looks like my "after" photo from my hair-shaving last fall. It started coming back white at first, but now the dark hair has started to come back as well. The first to fall out was the first to come back in, so it isn't an even length all over.

I can see that my eyebrows are starting to come back in, and my eyelashes are just long enough to put mascara on now. It's nice to have eyelashes again--my face doesn't scream "Cancer patient!" now that I am getting eyelashes.

I'm done with 8 of my 25 radiation treatments. My skin was starting to show some redness on Friday, but the weekend and lots of cream has helped fade it. At the end of this coming week, I will be half done with radiation.

Radiation leaves me tired. It isn't the mind-numbing, all-encompassing tired that chemo brings, but I am tired none the less. Since I have to go to radiation every day, I don't get a day to just kick back and have an unstructured day. I suppose the structure is good, but it is a pain to have to organize life around those daily appointments.

Waiting For Me By The Door

I just got home from a radiation therapy session to find a box of paper plates, paper cups, and napkins on my doorstep. There were two magazines in there too.

Whoever dropped them off: THANK YOU!!!! They will make mealtime that much easier. The nurse today told me I'd likely be my most tired on Fridays and Saturdays due to the cumulative effect of the radiation. So Fridays and Saturdays will be our paper plate days!

One Day Down, About 25 More to Go!

Today's Radiation Therapy was a dry run--they had me lay on the table and made sure everything was set properly so that they can put me in exactly the same position, etc. every day.

It was totally cool to watch the machine that directs the radiation field. It has all these little lead rods in it that move forward or back to make sure the radiation only goes where they want it to. The machines get pretty close, but I don't tend toward claustrophobia, so it was fine.

I start in with the real rays tomorrow. They'll also sit down with me at talk about skin care, creams, etc.

Today it only took me about an hour to go there, have my appointment, and get back. I'll be doing the trip daily, so I'll be able to do errands to places like Trader Joe's and other stores on the Boston Post Road whenever I need to. Hmmmm. I'm thinking that there are some Trader Joe's nitrate-free hot dogs in our future!

Radiation Starts Tomorrow!

I got a call from Yale Hospital's Radiation Therapy dept--I start radiation therapy tomorrow at 12:15 pm. Tomorrow will just be imaging to make sure once again that everything is set up exactly as they want it. The 12:15 time slot is mine until I am done with therapy.

It takes a while to get the treatment plan set up, but once it is ready everything just chugs along like clockwork. Lord willing, I should be done before Easter!

No News Yet on the Radiation Schedule

I called on Monday to see if they had gotten my radiation schedule set up yet. They hadn't and said it would likely be done at the end of the week. I called again today, but they still aren't ready with it.

On the one hand, I am really enjoying having the time off to recover more energy before I start radiation. On the other hand, the delays are only pushing out the date for when I can finally be DONE.

I did meet with my plastic surgeon this week. I scooted in right before he left for Vietnam this week to work on cleft palates. I asked what the time frame would be for surgery after radiation, and he said he wouldn't consider doing it until six months after radiation. My skin will at least that long to heal. That puts us into fall and the school year, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Other than that, life just marches on. There is laundry to fold, dishes to wash, and cat hair to vacuum. Some things never change!

Spiff's Chocolate Pudding Pie

Spiff is making dessert for after dinner tonight. Here is the recipe he is using, based on what we had available at home:

Chocolate Pudding Pie

1 Oreo crumb crust (purchased on clearance at the grocery store)
1 recipe chocolate pudding*
1 (3.9 oz) box Vanilla chocolate chip instant pudding
1 cup milk
1 (8 oz) container Cool Whip, thawed
Chocolate shavings

* Chocolate Pudding
1/2 c sugar
3 heaping TBSP baking cocoa
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/8 tsp salt
2 3/4 cup milk

1. Combine sugar, baking cocoa, cornstarch and salt in a medium saucepan. Stir in milk. Heat over medium high heat, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to a boil. Boil 1 minute.

2. Place 1 1/2 cups of chocolate pudding in crust. Let cool in refrigerator for 1/2 hour. Put remainder of chocolate pudding in Dixie cups and place in freezer for fudgecicles.

3. Combine milk with instant pudding mix and beat for 2 minutes. Fold in half of Cool Whip. Spread pudding mixture on top of chocolate pudding in crust.

4. Spread remaining Cool Whip on pudding mixture. Garnish with chocolate shavings. Chill 3-4 hours.

Enjoy!

My Boys Get the "Best Kids Ever" Award Today

I woke up shortly after 5 am with a migraine. I scooted downstairs to take my migraine medicine, but it was too late to stop it. I spent the next three hours in agony until the medicine finally cut it short.

After I finally fell back asleep, Spiff came in to see why I wasn't up (the boys are on Winter Break this week). I told him that I'd had a migraine and he said "OK, I'll get breakfast for me and [Entropy Boy]. Can I watch Star Trek on Netflix?" And he did. They kept it blessedly quiet in the house for the next two hours so I could sleep. Spiff watched his show and Entropy Boy played with Matchbox cars and Hotwheels tracks.

Shortly after lunch, I dropped the boys at D & FL's house (thank you so much!) and went to my radiation set-up appointment. They gave me a CT scan and three tattoos to mark the proper set-up for the radiation machines. They will get back to me in 5-7 days with a treatment plan.

When I went back to pick up the boys, FL had made a chicken pot pie and banana bread for our dinner. It was so nice to not have to cook, and Spiff went back for seconds and thirds.

We've had a quiet evening since we got home. Joe is setting up a server that his company gave him to work on some projects. The boys are watching Netflix. I'm still in a post-migraine funk. Bedtime soon!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Wow! I felt like a normal person today. Amazing!

Joe and the boys let me sleep in until 9 a.m. We puttered around the house until it was time to go to a friend's house. My friends KP and MP were husband-less this weekend, so volunteered to watch our boys while Joe and I went on a date.

When we arrived around 3 p.m., the kids immediately ran off to go shoot Nerf weaponry at each other. Joe and I sat down with KP and had a wonderful chat sans children. After a while we headed out to an Indian restaurant. Oh, the food was so good! We had a chicken appetizer platter and then vegetarian entrees with rice and garlic naan on the side. The restaurant gave us complementary glasses of champagne at the end, but I didn't even take a sip. I REALLY wanted to, but didn't dare because I didn't want to add alcohol to the miasma of stuff my liver has had to deal with.

When we got home, the boys collapsed into bed. They had a great time playing with their friends and want to know if the parents can exchange date nights every week.

I hope your Valentine's Day went as well as ours did!

Amazing Arnica

Today I got to sleep in until 7 a.m. Bliss! Joe and Spiff went out to run errands while Entropy Boy and I puttered around the house. We made banana-peanut butter-chocolate chip muffins together. We even played with Play Dough. He ran a seafood restaurant and made me Play Dough delicacies while I knitted.

One of the things that Joe did while running errands was to pick up a prescription for me that had been waiting at the pharmacy for several days. I had told my oncologist at my last appointment that I was having neuropathy (pain and tingling) in my feet. It was keeping me awake at night and I was nearly out of percocet. So she wrote me an Rx that was supposed to help with neuropathy and warned me that the drug could cause nausea.

Well, heck. I don't want to be nauseous. So I looked around to see what else I could do. I remembered that we have some arnica rub that works well on bruises and swelling. Arnica is pretty amazing stuff and has been used for centuries (Remember Little Women? It's mentioned in there.) So I tried it on my feet. It worked! My feet didn't hurt in the morning!

So now I put stuff called The Arnica Rub on my feet twice a day. It has arnica, St. John's Wort, comfrey, and some other nice herbs in it. I've been able to sleep three nights without having to take pain medication. Yippee! I have the Rx from the oncologist as a back up, but for now I'm going to be using the arnica because it doesn't make me nauseous or put more strain on my liver. My poor liver needs a rest after all that chemo.

Has It Really Been a Week Since I Posted?

I went to see the radiologist today. We talked over what was going to happen next and scheduled my "dry run" of radiation on 2/16. I had asked if we could not have radiation the week the boy had off from school, and the radiologist said that was fine as it would give me an extra week to get my energy level up. I'll start actual radiation treatments on 2/23.

I also met with the oncologist today. I won't see her again for 8 weeks, at which time I will start Tamoxifen. I talked to one of my nurses and she gave me a big hug. I won't miss the chemo, but I will miss all the people I saw each week!

My hair is peach fuzz now, and white. My head is itchy sometimes now due to the grow-in process.

The boys are eating a snack before getting ready for bed. They had an early release from school because of snow. Joe is about to go out and clear the driveway. We are expecting a regular school day tomorrow.

The balloons from my last day of chemo are still around the house. The cat plays with one of them each night, grabbing the string and dragging it around the house. We know where he is by the balloon floating through the air.

I'm Ready for Them to Go Back to School Now

The boys were both off from school Monday and Tuesday due to fever or not having been over fever for 24 hours. Spiff could have perhaps gone back for Tuesday afternoon, but he was blowing his nose so frequently (and loudly) that I kept him home.

Today, Wednesday, school was canceled due to a winter storm. The boys were both well, however. How could I tell? They were bickering, getting entirely too silly, and generally creating a ruckus whenever they were near each other. Yeah, they felt better. [rolling my eyes]

If I were homeschooling them, we would have just continued our lessons. But I didn't want to cobble something together for today when they felt better. So, we played too many Wii games and just generally frittered the day away. Spiff said at bedtime that he was glad he was going to school tomorrow. Me too, buddy. Me too.

Here's my update:

I'm a week past my last chemo. It takes longer and longer to recover after each successive round of chemo, so I'm still not out of the woods after this last round. My toes and legs hurt so much in bed last night that I had to take percocet again. I'd like to be done with it, but at least I don't have to take it during the day anymore.

I'm still tired, but not like I was after the A/C chemo. I can exercise 10 minutes without wanting to take a nap afterwards.

I meet with the radiologist on Tuesday, Feb. 3 to go over the game plan once again. I expect I'll get my tattoos and start radiation the next week. Unfortunately, the boys have the week off from school during the 3rd week of Feb, so I will have to figure out childcare for that time. It's always something! 8-P