A friend in need is a friend indeed

Posted on Sonlight's Forums on August 8, 2008

Y'all, I don't think I've ever felt this "loved on" before in my life. God is doing truly amazing things here.

"Why me?" is one of those questions that goes through your mind when you are faced with something inescapable. "Is there something I did or didn't do that made this happen?" But the Holy Spirit very distinctly said to me "Why not you? What makes you so special that you can't get cancer?" And really, there is nothing that makes me that special. Honestly, if I were to get what I deserved, it would be much, much worse. Without Christ, I would be facing this without hope. That is an awful thought.

God knew I would get cancer. He could have stopped those cells from growing. He is much bigger than cancer. Other people have the same risk factors as I do, and they don't get cancer. This one is my cancer. It is to be used for my good and for the good of those around me. The process may be a hard one, like burning dross from gold. But it will be for good. God does not promise that I will be around for that good, but He promises that he has a plan for a future and a hope.

In the midst of all this, He is showing me comfort and joy, peace and friendship. I have always been the black sheep, the independent one, the capable one, and the introvert. I defined myself in those ways and built some excellent walls to keep people out. Because when you let people know you, they can turn around and use that knowledge to hurt you. Badly. BTDT, built the walls to keep it from happening again.

And then along came cancer. And cancer treatment brings with it all sorts of dependencies on others that I am *not* used to having. But those dependencies are bringing blessings with them that I never even knew existed.

When I got home from my bone and CT scans yesterday, there was a *huge* box that had come in the mail. It was from our 4-H club friends. They had gathered snacks, and tons of chocolate, games and toys for the boys, books for me, a rice-pack that I can warm in the microwave and keep on my lap when I'm cold, and cards that the kids had all made. What a huge blessing! Even though I'm not too special to get cancer, I am still a child of the King. And He is showing me love through other people.

Today I got an email from a friend offering to come over several times after my surgery and help me wash and comb my hair (I won't be able to lift my arms above my head for a while), do laundry, vacuum floors--what ever needs to be done. She lives 10 miles away, but was serious about her offer.

Different offers have come from different quarters. I will spare you the details, but truly, I have never felt this loved before. God is just *in* this, and His love and comfort are just such a balm on days like yesterday when I'm stuck inside a machine that is scanning so slowly that I want to just go bonkers.

I just feel so blessed right now. It's kind of hard to explain. But please know that when God prompts you to do something for someone, and you do that act as an offering up to Him, it just starts this cycle of blessing that goes round and round. What an amazing God we have!