Dh's dad and stepmom are visiting for the day tomorrow. They have been helping dh's grandmother move from her home to a new apartment. They are bringing Nanny with them when they visit, which is a good thing because she is starting to not do as well. It will be good for the boys to see her.
However. . . (there is always a however, isn't there?) Nanny doesn't do well with illness. Everything becomes the worst possible scenario in her mind. So my breast cancer is very hard for her-- especially since her husband is in hospice in the nursing home and her brother died last week (at age 97). Oh, and she moved out of her home of 35 years this week. I'm surprised she hasn't had a panic attack yet. I might if I were in her shoes.
So, I know the word "cancer" will come up tomorrow. I hadn't used it with Spiff yet (Entropy Boy is pretty oblivious to it all) and so did for the first time tonight. He winced and said "Oh, I haven't heard very good things about that." I explained that there are different types of cancer and that Poppy (Spiff's great-grandfather) had skin cancer more than 20 years ago. I also explained that the medicine that we discussed (the one that is going to make me feel like I do when I have a migraine) is one of the things the doctor's use to kill the cancer. It is a very strong medicine--so strong that my hair is going to fall out.
"You mean you're gonna be bald?"
Yes, for a while. Then when the medicine stops, my hair will grow back.
"Are you going to walk around bald?"
No, I'm going to wear a hat. Do you want to shave your head to look like me when I'm bald?
"No thanks."
Entropy Boy said he will kiss my bald head when my hair falls out.
I can feel the prayers. God is so good. There are hard moments throughout each day, and the "why me" questions pop into my head. And I mentally kicked myself today for asking God to teach me to trust Him more. But He is using this. He will use this, for purposes I can't even begin to imagine.
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